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Always Ask "WHY?": Are Empathy and Reason YOUR Stars and Stripes?

By Steve Horvath posted 12-31-2021 22:15


Almost exactly one year ago, I published Board Discipline: Has your Board been Naughty or Nice this Year?

While thinking through major themes from common interest community discussion over the last twelve months, a timely and fitting year-end post on the CAI Members Forum catalyzed this year's message.  A homeowner decided to fly the Flag of the United States of America upside down.  The original poster suggests that their Board would like the flag flown "with the stars up" and that several protest signs were removed in response to a violation letter (presumably asserting a rule that yard signs are disallowed).  Those signs are now taped to the inside of windows instead (and there are no rules disallowing this).  The poster asks whether to: 1) ignore the flag or 2) find a "legal way" to resolve the Stars and Stripes situation.

Several quite telling responses have been posted.  My initial response directed folks to our Free Speech, Flags, Signs and Symbols page.  Others respond by referencing sections of the Freedom to Display the American Flag Act of 2005.  Others suggested a legal minefield.  Still others stated that if an upside down flag is a sign of an emergency that someone in the association should "notify 911 daily" (!) and to engage the association's legal council on the basis of the aforementioned Act in order to create a violation (seemingly out of thin air).  One of the best responses says "...this thread demonstrates something that we could improve upon with community associations...  How many people would never want to live somewhere, where the first inclination of their neighbor when they didn't share a particular perspective is to call the police on them..."

WHY matters.   Demonstrating competent, rational decision-making while engaging in discourse is paramount lest we descend into violation mania (see clip above).  WHAT is it about certain neighbor behaviors that result in a knee-jerk reaction to expunge and homogenize?  WHY do some people that live and work in the community association setting believe that they are entitled to literally rule out their neighbors' free speech?  Another great comment followed: "Enforce the association rules impartially and politely and otherwise ignore the matter."

Yet many responses ignored a guiding principle altogether: does a restrictive covenant exist in the governing documents of this community that prohibits flying the Flag of the United States upside down?  Even if a prohibition exists, is it actually enforceable AND reasonable?  What about YOUR R&R's / CC&R's?  Is every single rule you've established in place to better your community?  To maintain property values?  To create a a harmonious environment that celebrates the diversity of unique human beings?  After all that, someone added:  "(Too) many people who purchase real estate under any of these CIC paradigms -- in my view -- simply don't understand what they've gotten themselves into."

The unfortunate reality is that CIC homeowners are all too often innocent bystanders.  The global common interest community is full of wayward volunteer directors and so-called "experts" who care more about their own ambitions and opinions than the good of your community.  Multiple forum contributions over the course of 2021 demonstrate communities in the throes of failed leadership:

"In my Association, the Board minutes are a work of fiction."
>>> "An ineligible non-owner was recently elected by owners who had no idea he was not an owner. "
>>> "Our BoD has found an attorney to support them in their long-time, ongoing refusal and reluctance to provide information to owners. We have no open meetings...Owners have no access to gov. docs, Minutes, engineer/reserve/CPA reports, etc.  The BoD's attorney has now advised the BoD to continue this practice, withhold as much info as possible and provide nothing voluntarily, unless owners specifically make formal request for something."
>>> "...commandeering board president"
>>> "In all my years of managing associations and facilitating dozens of elections, I've never seen anything like this one.  Neighbors openly campaigning for some candidates and disparaging others. There are actual rallies being planned."
>>> "...board members that discuss confidential information from Executive Session with homeowners..."
>>> " proxies that were provided to the owners by management had a pre-printed name of the proxy"

All of those examples share a common theme where leaders (volunteers AND compensated third parties) have a lack of:

  • education about statutes, governing documents and the limits of their authority

  • willingness to learn and implement relatively straightforward best practices

  • empathy, honesty, integrity and transparency

The internet and is full of opinionated nonsense that exemplifies and promulgates misunderstandings and loathing of common interest community living.  YOU can be part of the solution by consuming as many resources as possible and putting them into action:
Please don't point fingers without first asking
"WHY." Lead with reason, empathy, honesty, integrity and transparency.
1 comment



09-13-2022 14:09

Nice article, and I like the list of documents to read.